Misfits and Marvels at the Markets

Many of us with small businesses that have a product to sell have begun our new lives at local markets.  If you've been a stall holder you may recognise some of the people I've come across.  If you're a market goer, you may recognise yourself!

Ms Upherself

Ms Upherself is fond of telling you from 3 metres away, on her approach, how she can only wear sterling silver, because anything else touching her delicate skin will turn it black - or the jewellery black - I never really figured out which.

If you point out glass beads with a sterling silver core in them, she will launch into her story again..and again...and again.  Ms Upherself has decided before she's even looked at any jewellery that none of it will be sterling silver enough for her.  Obviously she is a woman of extremely refined tastes, which is why she moves on to the second hand clothes stall - probably to let them know she can't wear anything except Dior.

Ms Repetetive

Ms Repetetive asks the question "how much?" of each and every bead and charm on the table.  By the 100th ask, you could cheerfully stuff a handful down her throat.  Here's my advice (just in case you are Ms Repetetive):
1/ listen to the answer the first time
2/ the big sign with the prices on it that's about to bite you on the nose may help
3/ if all else fails, see clue #1 or clue #2

There appears to be no way to move Ms Repetetive along to the next stall, unless every item has had a price check (although I admit to not having tried a fork lift).  Occasionally though, Ms Repetetive actually finds a price she likes (even though it's the same as the previous 50 she's asked about) and will buy something.  If not, you can have a little satisfaction in half and hour or so - when she moves to the next stall holder who's been snickering at your plight. (Who's snickering now eh?)

                                                   



Ms Tactile

Ms Tactile was clearly not told by her mother to "look with your eyes" when she was a child.  As a consequence, touching and rubbing a single bead will not suffice - all of them must go through the process.  Ms Touch and Rub never ever buys anything, however I have found she is useful if you put a polishing cloth in her hands.

Ms Feralmum

Ms Feralmum is the one with the totally feral child (and occasionally *shudder* more than one) who is obviously the case "for" when the debate about compulsory sterilisation comes up.  In her eyes, her child is an angel, and obviously we stall holders have the problem when we gently ask said angel to move their dripping ice cream or greasy sausage sauce away from our goods, where a pool of sticky goo is forming over them.  The resultant glare from Ms Feralmum is enough to wither the hardiest soul.

Ms Feralmum can be stopped with a simple "You'll be taking that then? That will be x dollars", whereby she will hastily usher the mini feral/s away - to the snickering stall holder next to you.

                                               

Ms Text

Ms Text is a mystery to me. She is the one walking through the market constantly texting on her phone - doesn't look right, doesn't look left, doesn't look up.  People move out of her way as she enters at one end and exits at the other.  I am a little in awe of her power to move people like that - it would have been handy when the kids were teenagers and I wanted them to clean their rooms.  All I can think is that her mum and dad made her come when she really wanted to stay home on the couch and text. Consequently, I have some sympathy for her - who wants to be dragged along to the market where you might be seen with The Parents.  All her other 30 year old friends might make fun of her.

Miss Cute

Miss Cute is adorable. Each bead receives its own little exclamation of "Ohh, so cute" as she moves along.  The ego boost of hearing this over all your jewellery is enough to make me want to hire her for low ego days.

Master Lookacrocodile

Hard to believe amongst all the bling on the stall that Master Lookacrocodile can zero in on one bead so quickly. I'll let you figure out which one.

                                                 



Ms Happy

Ms Happy is a complete joy to talk to, often buys my jewellery, loves to look without touching everything, and is having fun just being out at the market.  She also remembers me from the last market - and what we were talking about!





I'm considering having another side business - making badges - to be handed out at the market entrance after the completion of quick paperless, wordless survey (just put a table full of anything at the entrance, you'll know immediately which category the person falls into).  Another one of my brilliant business ideas, if I do say so myself.

Ms Upherself would obviously get a silver badge (.925 stamped sterling of course), Ms Repetetive could have one that said PTO (on both sides), Ms Tactile's would be etched, Ms Feralmum's would have a spray on grease coating that gets stickier as the day goes on, Ms Text's could be something like "wtf", the young and enthusiastic children get gold stars, and Ms Happy gets a smiley face.

The other stall holders would, I'm sure, welcome an innovative business like this, as it would only enhance their selling experiences at that market.  Think of the advantages of being able to say to the next stall holder 'be back in 5 minutes, can you watch my stall? got to go to the loo" and beat a hasty exit as Ms Repetetive approached.  You'd just have to be careful and watch the approach from both sides - you wouldn't want to be stuck watching someone else's stall for the same reason!

But between MinzBeadz and my fledgling business of knitting websites, I really don't have the time. And besides, Ms Tactile might not get past the my stall at the gate and, well, I don't really want to clean my own beads.